Every time I went into a wrestling match, I imagined my opponents were Custer and the 7th Calvary, except when I wrestled Joe Hoptowit, Yakima, and Vernon Six Killer, Pawnee. But rage and hatred, fueled by fear and mistrust, can only take you so far, and then it will eat you up and destroy you from within.
No matter how much alcohol and drugs you consume, rage, fear, mistrust, and hatred will eventually destroy your soul! If you continue this path of addiction to stop "hurting, "despite the warnings, you will self-destruct.
The great and wonderful thing about becoming an addict, to cover up your pain, is the only way out, is a spiritual path. On this path, the Red Road, I begin to understand that everything that comes in our path, comes for our spiritual perfecting.
As well, when your driving force is rage, fear, mistrust, and hatred, no matter how many matches, games, rodeos, or battles you win you never feel happy or satisfied. This is my personal experience and observations. It may be different for others.
On this particular day, I won the Canadian/US Championship, at 157 lbs, at the Pacific National Exposition (PNE) in August 1967. I pinned every one of my opponents. But this victory did not take away or satisfy my rage and anger. My rage, fear, mistrust, and hatred continued to drive me deeper into my own self-destruction.
The night after I won the Championship I went out and got drunk, trying to stop the hurt and pain, that was in no way relieved by my victory. No matter how many victories over " Custer and the 7th Calvary, " the pain and suffering remained, and taking revenge, hurt me, as I, as well, knew in my soul from
As well, my sense of revenge against those who represented to me, those who inflicted all the pain and suffering on my ancestors was unsatisfied. This included insanity included some self-hatred because of my French and English heritage.
And you get it from both sides if you are light-complected. It was a good day when I realized I was a "hybrid."
Thankfully, our Creator is the Ever-Forgiving and the All-Merciful!. But, no matter how old you may become, the path to happiness and healing is one day at a time. I
All we have is today, my relatives, not the dead past or imagined future. Tough lesson to learn!
