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With Brother Joey and Tonska Standing Bear in Khon Kaen, Thailand, October 7, 2024.
A Call to Truth, Healing, and an End to Backbiting
In Loving Memory of My Beloved Tonska Standing Bear
Beloved Relatives and Friends,
We pray that you and all our loved ones are in the very best of health and happiness.
Since my dear Tonska Standing Bear, also known as Wayne Snellgrove, began his journey to the Other Side Camp on July 2, 2026, he has remained very close to me. Spiritually, we are visiting again, just as we did when we first met in person in Khon Kaen, Thailand, in August 2024.
Tonska Wayne and I knew of one another before we met. We also knew in our hearts that we were destined to meet, and when the proper time came, that meeting took place.
While traveling through Asia, my Tonska Standing Bear came from Bangkok to Khon Kaen during a stopover on his way to Mongolia. He made that journey entirely through his own efforts and with his own resources. He received no financial support from me and asked for nothing. He came simply because he wanted to be with his Uncle and support me spiritually.
At that time, I was holding a sacred ceremony for a beloved Thai brother and his family. My niece Tulaya was present and spent the entire weekend with us. She is spiritually sensitive and clearly witnessed Monska Wayne’s integrity, humility, kindness, and the deeply respectful way he carried himself with everyone throughout our time together.
I also personally witnessed his kindness, prayerfulness, humility, and deep respect toward all people. My Tonska Standing Bear did not come seeking attention, recognition, or anything for himself. He came quietly as a relative, a helper, and a spiritual supporter.
From that time forward, we became very close. He honored me by calling me Uncle, and I called him Tonska, Nephew, with great love and respect.
Our relationship was not symbolic or based only upon our public work. My Tonska Standing Bear came to visit me. He sat with me, prayed with me, laughed with me, and opened his heart to me.
We spoke many times following our visit to Thailand, and he trusted his Uncle enough to share the painful things he was experiencing.
My Tonska Wayne told me directly about the backbiting, gossip, personal accusations, and vicious attacks being circulated behind his back and throughout social media. I heard from my own Nephew how deeply these attacks wounded him, and I know how heavily they weighed upon his heart and spirit.
My Tonska Standing Bear never pretended to be a perfect man. He was very honest with me about the rough years of his life. He openly acknowledged his struggles with alcohol and addiction during the early and middle 1990s. He spoke about the instability he experienced and the period when he was homeless in Florida.
That time of homelessness was a real and difficult part of his journey. My Tonska Wayne knew what it meant to be alone, displaced, uncertain about the future, and without a secure place to live. He knew what it meant to struggle from one day to the next.
However, he did not remain in that place. He reached out for help, entered recovery, and began the difficult work of rebuilding his life. He was honest about where he had been, but he was equally committed to where he was going.
His struggles must also be understood within the larger history of what happened to him as a survivor of the Sixties Scoop. My Tonska Standing Bear was separated from his Indigenous mother, family, people, culture, ceremonies, and spiritual foundations. Like so many Indigenous children who were taken away, he carried a deep and often unnamed grief within him.
My Nephew greatly suffered from that separation. It affected his sense of identity, belonging, family, and self-worth. It contributed to the painful road he traveled during his younger years.
My Tonska Wayne did not use that suffering as an excuse to remain trapped in addiction. He faced his struggles honestly and gradually found his way toward recovery, the Red Road, and the true joy and happiness of walking the Healing Path.
During his years in Florida, my Tonska Standing Bear met Grandfather Tony Stone Hawk, who became his Elder, spiritual teacher, mentor, and fatherly guide. Grandfather Tony helped him deepen his understanding of Alcoholics Anonymous, sobriety, the Sweat Lodge, sacred ceremony, prayer, discipline, responsibility, forgiveness, and service to the people.
My Tonska Wayne later said that Grandfather Tony had taught him how to love.
Those simple words say a great deal about the transformation taking place within my Nephew. Grandfather Tony was not merely teaching him ceremonies or outward spiritual practices. He was helping my Tonska Standing Bear learn how to heal his heart, love himself, love his relatives, forgive, take responsibility, and serve the Human Family.
Through Alcoholics Anonymous, spiritual mentorship, ceremony, and his own persistent efforts, Tonska Wayne established himself more firmly upon the Red Road. He chose sobriety, prayer, responsibility, service, and healing. His difficult years did not disappear, but they became part of the sacred fire through which he was transformed.
His own healing journey led him to reach out to Indigenous relatives and other members of our Human Family who were suffering in prisons. Alongside Grandfather Tony, my Tonska Standing Bear helped carry prayer, Indigenous ceremony, spiritual encouragement, and healing work into state and federal prisons in Florida.
Many of the people they served were struggling with substance abuse, separation from their families, incarceration, cultural disconnection, homelessness, and other forms of trauma. My Tonska Wayne understood their pain because he had known suffering himself. He did not look down upon them or treat them as forgotten people. He sat with them as a relative.
This is the kind of man my Tonska Wayne was. He worked to transform his own pain into service for those who needed it most. He knew what it meant to fall, but he also knew what it meant to rise again.
My Tonska Standing Bear knew homelessness, but he also found a spiritual home. He knew addiction, but he also knew recovery. He knew separation, but he continued searching until he found his way back to his family, his identity, his ceremonies, and his people.
My Tonska Wayne was not defined only by the most difficult years of his life. He was also defined by the courage with which he faced those years and the determination with which he continued walking.
He was not only a man who experienced addiction. He was also a man who chose recovery and helped others do the same.
He was not only a man who had been homeless. He was also a man who later carried encouragement, compassion, and spiritual support to people who felt abandoned.
He was not only a survivor of separation. He was also a man who found his way home and helped other relatives remember that they, too, belonged within the Sacred Circle of Life.
I personally witnessed the spiritual path my Tonska Standing Bear was walking. I did not know him only through social media, public stories, or secondhand accounts. He came to visit his Uncle. He sat before me. He prayed with me. He shared his heart with me. I witnessed his humility, kindness, generosity, and respect.
I also attended a Sweat Lodge Ceremony conducted by my Tonska Wayne in Ireland with my Tonska Lucian and relatives associated with UP Games who had gathered in support of the World Peace Gathering. It was a gentle, prayerful, uplifting, and respectfully conducted lodge. I personally witnessed how carefully my Tonska Standing Bear carried that sacred responsibility and how respectfully he treated everyone present.
My Tonska Wayne played an important role in uplifting the work of Kindred Spirits Ireland, UP Games, and the World Peace Gathering. He brought his prayers, spiritual teachings, flute music, humor, love, and willingness to serve. He helped strengthen the sacred atmosphere of the gathering and supported its vision of peace, reconciliation, healing, and unity.
Remembering Our Beloved Brother John Doyle
We also lovingly remember our beloved Irish brother John Doyle, a longtime official of the European Commission in Brussels and a deeply committed friend of Kindred Spirits Ireland and the World Peace Gathering.
Brother John helped build bridges between Ireland, Europe, Indigenous Peoples, and the wider Human Family. He carried a steadfast commitment to Mother Earth, justice, reconciliation, and peace, offering his service with courage, intelligence, warmth, and wonderful Irish humor.
Brother John’s tragic passing at the opening of the World Peace Gathering at Dripsey Castle in July 2025 cast a profound pall of sorrow over everyone gathered there. Yet his spirit, humor, courage, and devotion remained powerfully present among us.
We know without question that Brother John Doyle and my beloved Tonska Standing Bear never had the honor of meeting one another. We also know without question that Brother John and Manette Venture Standing Bear never met.
They were never together. They never participated in any ceremony together. They never had any direct personal contact with one another.
Anyone who knew Brother John, knew my Tonska Wayne, or was directly familiar with the circumstances surrounding the World Peace Gathering knows that they never met. Brother John’s passing had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with my Tonska Standing Bear.
Therefore, any accusation that my Tonska Wayne killed Brother John, caused his death, contributed to his death, or was in any way responsible for his passing is completely and totally false. It is a vicious lie without any foundation whatsoever in fact.
To use Brother John’s tragic passing as a weapon against my Tonska Standing Bear is deeply cruel and spiritually destructive. It dishonors Brother John, it dishonors my beloved Nephew, and it causes needless pain to their families, friends, and all those who loved them.
Before Brother John began his journey to the Other Side Camp, I had personally attended the Sweat Lodge Ceremony conducted by my Tonska Standing Bear with my Tonska Lucian and our UP Games relatives. It was a gentle, prayerful, uplifting, and carefully conducted lodge.
Brother John was not there. He had never met my Tonska Wayne and had no connection whatsoever to that ceremony.
These are not matters of opinion or speculation. My Tonska Standing Bear had nothing whatsoever to do with Brother John Doyle’s death.
The memories of both of these beloved relatives deserve to be treated with truth, dignity, gratitude, and respect. Brother John’s passing must never again be falsely used to attack my Nephew, and the name of my Tonska Wayne must not be connected with a death in which he had absolutely no involvement.
Serious Accusations Require Truth and Evidence
There were also serious accusations circulated through social media concerning alleged sexual misconduct by my Tonska Standing Bear. I have not been presented with direct, factual, or verifiable evidence that would allow those accusations to be fairly examined.
I will never ask that credible evidence be ignored. Anyone who possesses direct and verifiable information concerning genuine wrongdoing has the right to present it through proper, confidential, fair, and responsible channels. Anyone who may have experienced harm must be heard with dignity and protected from retaliation.
At the same time, serious accusations must not be treated as proven facts merely because they have been repeated many times on social media. Rumor is not evidence. Repetition is not proof. Anonymous insinuation is not justice.
My Tonska Wayne responded to many of those attacking him in a respectful, spiritual, and humble way. Nevertheless, I know that these public attacks hurt him deeply. I personally heard how the backbiting, accusations, and character attacks weighed upon his heart.
I cannot make a medical determination about the precise cause of my Nephew’s passing. That belongs to qualified medical professionals, and final spiritual judgment belongs in the Hands of our Creator.
However, I firmly believe that the unrelenting stress, heartbreak, and sorrow caused by these attacks placed a very heavy burden upon my Tonska Standing Bear’s emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being. I saw how this deadly poison of backbiting and gossip affected him.
My Sacred Responsibility as Standing Bear’s Uncle
Since my Tonska Standing Bear began his journey to the Other Side Camp, I have felt him very close to me. In our spiritual visits, I understand my Nephew to be asking me to help clear these matters away so that he may continue his journey peacefully. As his Uncle, I accept that sacred responsibility.
This is what our Kinship System is all about. An Uncle does not abandon his Nephew when the winds become fierce. An Uncle does not remain silent while gossip, rumors, and unproven accusations harm the dignity and name of his Tonska.
An Uncle stands beside his Nephew, speaks truthfully, protects the dignity of his relative, and helps clear the road before him.
This destructive behavior is completely against everything I have learned from our Indigenous Elders. It violates the values that keep our sacred camp clean, balanced, respectful, and protected. I am seeing the same pattern spreading throughout social media, dividing families, organizations, ceremonies, friendships, and communities.
Backbiting is among the greatest spiritual sicknesses. It is far more than the careless repetition of another person’s faults. It is a spiritual injury.
Backbiting harms the person being spoken about. It burdens and confuses the people who listen. It darkens the speaker’s heart.
This is why the Sacred Teachings warn us so strongly that backbiting quenches the light of the heart and extinguishes the life of the soul.
Backbiting is like smoke entering a lodge. At first, it may seem small and almost harmless. Soon, however, it spreads throughout the entire sacred space. It clouds everyone’s vision, makes it difficult to breathe, destroys trust, poisons relationships, and weakens the whole community.
There are proper and sacred ways to address serious concerns. Our Elders taught us the importance of direct communication, Talking Circles, responsible consultation, mediation, community justice, healing processes, professional safeguarding, and lawful investigation when necessary.
Gossip, cowardly attacks, and hateful accusations made behind another person’s back are not among those sacred ways. They have no place whatsoever in any of our sacred camps.
Invitation to a Zoom Gathering
I am therefore holding a Zoom gathering for those who truly knew my Tonska Wayne, those who prayed and worked alongside him, and those who sincerely want to address the broader issue of backbiting and gossip on social media.
Date: Wednesday, July 15, 2026 Time: 10 AM-12 Noon Pacific Time. Zoom Link: Join Zoom Meeting
This gathering will be a prayerful and respectful space. It will not be a place for public ambush, personal attack, humiliation, argument, or the uncontrolled repetition of accusations.
Anyone possessing actual, direct, and verifiable evidence of wrongdoing by my Tonska Standing Bear may come forward and present it responsibly in writing through an appropriate confidential process. We will listen with open hearts, careful minds, and a sincere commitment to truth, protection, fairness, accountability, and justice.
However, anyone who relies solely on rumors, gossip, assumptions, anonymous statements, or claims repeated by others is respectfully asked to hold their peace and stop circulating those claims as fact.
If something cannot stand in the clear light of truth, evidence, fairness, and responsible examination, it must not be repeated as though it were fact.
During the Second Annual World Peace Gathering at Dripsey Castle, July 17–20, 2026, we will honor my Tonska Standing Bear, our beloved Brother John Doyle, our hosts, Kindred Spirits Ireland, and all those who have carried this sacred work forward.
My Tonska Wayne played a meaningful role in uplifting Kindred Spirits Ireland, UP Games, and the World Peace Gathering. His contribution must not be erased.
The difficult years of my Nephew’s life must not be denied, but neither should his recovery, service, humility, prayerfulness, kindness, and love be denied.
For every other person currently being attacked in this way, let us turn away from this destructive behavior completely. Let us stop forwarding the message, repeating what we cannot verify, and treating social media as though it were a court of justice.
Let us return to truth, evidence, direct communication, consultation, accountability, healing, prayer, and the sacred discipline of guarding our tongues.
Let us end this terrible spiritual sickness here and now.
Let us clear the smoke from the lodge, restore dignity to our words, and choose medicine rather than poison.
My Beloved Tonska Wayne
My beloved Tonska Standing Bear, you traveled from Bangkok to Khon Kaen during your stopover on your way to Mongolia to support your Uncle spiritually. You made that journey entirely on your own. You asked for nothing.
You came to sit with your Uncle. You prayed with your Uncle. You supported your Uncle. You trusted your Uncle and opened your heart to me.
I remember your kindness, humility, prayers, music, laughter, and courage. I remember the pain you carried and the determination with which you continued walking.
I remember that you knew homelessness, but you did not surrender to it. You knew addiction, but you chose recovery. You knew separation, but you continued searching until you found your way home.
I remember how you transformed your wounds into service for relatives who were still struggling. I remember how you sat with people whom society had abandoned and treated them as members of our Human Family.
You came to your Uncle in love, and your Uncle will continue to stand with you in love.
Rest peacefully, my beloved Tonska Wayne. Continue your journey to the Other Side Camp surrounded by your ancestors, your relatives, and all those who knew the goodness within your heart.
Your Uncle will speak the truth about you. Your Uncle will protect your dignity. Your Uncle will help clear the road before you.
My beloved Tonska Standing Bear, your Uncle has your back. I had your back while you walked among us. I have your back now as you continue your journey, and I always will.
With Warm and Loving Greetings,
Deksi and Brother Phil